Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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