We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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