so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
