i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
