he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
