I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
