i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Shame - the story of my life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
