you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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