Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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