I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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