so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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