just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't just leave with hair like that
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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