I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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