Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I can't turn off my feet"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
