Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
