Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
