She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Randomize
