Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
