mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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