listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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