smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
