I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
