he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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