dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
