Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
