for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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