I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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