Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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