Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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