I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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