we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
