I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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