pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
