if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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