just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
