I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
