but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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