There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
