I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize