i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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