I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
