Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
