I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
birth control should be required to get into college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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