So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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