Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
