I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
