We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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