she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm both gender and math confused
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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