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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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• (718): View more from New York

  He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices

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• (510): View more from California

  I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...

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• (310): View more from California

  Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?

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