So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
