So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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