also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
