If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
