My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
