i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
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He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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