She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
