Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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