I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
