So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
