the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
