You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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