I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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