i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
