Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
