tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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