well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
